*Authors Note*
My dad had to play at a concert in downtown Milwaukee and he dragged me along with him. When going to the concert in daylight, and returning to the car at night, these images passed me by. You can relate some parts to other cities like NY and Chicago.
Gray cars passing,
A hot dog vendor yelling,
So many places to be.
People strut on with their daily life.
No excitement, no spice,
No place in the world.
Main Street passes skid row,
As wealthy businessmen
Jeer at the sorrowful homeless.
No compassion is exchanged,
So none is returned.
Echoes ring as car horns honk,
And lonely people move forward,
Hoping the next day will bring something new.
A hope that does not survive the night.
The night mirrors the day,
Only without daylight.
People carry on to home,
Or to the bar.
A car passes by,
Followed with some loud
BANGS!
The city knows it’s sick,
But it can’t do anything about it.
It seems as though daylight has
All but left the city.
Gray cars passing,
A hot dog vendor yelling,
Nowhere left to be.
I liked how the poem came in a complete circle. It made me think which is a sign of a good poem, but it seemed kind of short. When it ended, I felt like I still wanted more.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have to round out the edges and recheck spelling. I'll work on it when I can.
ReplyDeleteI liked that poem and how you turned something as simple as going to a concert and changin it into a dystopic story such as this, I agree with matt you did leave it hanging.
ReplyDeleteLike I said, I'm to work on it and try to squeeze it into a certain form. What would you classify this as? Mr. Johnson thinks it between forms.
ReplyDeleteYou went from romantic to ironic very fast, and I enjoyed that. The only thing is that you don't want to tell the reader the theme of the poem in your author's note.
ReplyDeleteI see your point. They should be smart enough to see that for themselves.
ReplyDelete